where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Let the clothes fall where they may.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
