Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
