I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
