I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
