There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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