Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize