yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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