I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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