What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
