Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
