Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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