You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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