i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Even my vagina gasped.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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