3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
