yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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