The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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