I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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