Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
