i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
