You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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