great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
