Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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