Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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