Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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