We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
