I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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