I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
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She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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