I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
soo... how was my night?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize