honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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