it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I stole a fireplace last night.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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