Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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