Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
