do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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