rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
