i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
