so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize