okay pat passed out under dana's car
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize