i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
