I'm lost and stupid without you.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
So much rum. So many feels.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
