Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize