Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We were destined to go to rehab together
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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