When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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