In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
