I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
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Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
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PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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