i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize