$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
This girl is more easily done than said...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
vagina is talking i cant
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
