Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
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