I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
