Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
He kissed a someone with a penis
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
