it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
so much tequila, so little girl.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
