I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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