no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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