oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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