hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
