I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
