There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
