Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
