I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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