dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
It was a blind-side dick pic.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
