Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Randomize
