I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
