He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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