if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize