Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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