I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
