youre lurking in front of me
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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