I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
